Written by : Mdm. Anis Akmilah Mat Hassan

 

The clock strikes 9 in the morning but I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, pondering. Thinking of what my life would be like in the future. Will it be possible for me to work in the field I’ve chosen, or will I only be living in my hometown with my parents? Ugh … I’m so screwed! Thinking back on my marks for the Statistics test yesterday, “Will I be able to graduate this year? How do I increase my CGPA? Where has my confidence gone? I was so committed to achieving my goal but look at me now?” Once again, Malihah suddenly barged in the room in a fit of rage, slamming her beloved bag on the floor. A little startled, I asked her, “What’s wrong, Malihah?”. Malihah stared daggers at me before replying, “If you don’t know anything, shut up.” “Sigh, this is so sudden, she was fine when she went out in the morning,” I said to myself. Confused, I didn’t know whether to comfort Malihah or to act ignorant. To add to that, Malihah had already scolded me. Even when I comforted her last week she acted so nonchalant.

The next morning, Malihah spoke to me, “How could you. I felt terrible yesterday and you didn’t even care”. I stood there dumbfounded while carrying a glass of hot water from the pantry. I was thinking of making myself a Milo drink. I was speechless. “If you don’t like me anymore then you should have said something. Don’t act as if You can’t see me”, cried Malihah in a sulky tone. “Sigh, what else is this!” I screamed on the inside. I returned to my table and sat. My hands sped over the keyboard to finish my leftover assignments. Endless questions played on my mind. “I wonder where my strength has gone. Why couldn’t I reply to her comment?”

I was determined to see a counsellor due to all the issues that were starting to give me a headache. I was so confused about when to complete my assignment and when to comfort and treat Malihah. As soon as I was in the Counsellor’s room, I let out everything that has been building inside of me. I was in a dilemma, I felt like I didn’t have the freedom to be myself when I was with Malihah. I had to do something for myself. I was with the Counsellor for nearly one hour. As soon as the session was over, I was able to smile once again. It felt like all of my problems were ‘downloaded’ by the counsellor. I was so relieved. I received a lot of input that I can use to plan my life in order for me to be more confident and make my life goal clearer. The source was simple, even though I was already 22 years old, I still didn’t fully understand myself.

I learned a lot of things about personality from the discussion I had with the Counsellor. It was no wonder that I was so affected by my friend. The longer I keep the problems to myself, the more it affected my relationship with my friends until it also affected my studies. Yes, I’m determined. This life was meant to be enjoyed, not to be regretted.

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Quoted by Book of 170 kata-kata Mendorong Menjadi Pelajar Hebat; Rahsia Tindakan Untuk Sihat Emosi Buat Pelajar.

 

Let's read Mrs. Anis's message on how to handle the dilemma that befell us.

 

Date of Input: 04/05/2021 | Updated: 24/08/2021 | anis_akmil