By : En. Muhammad Za'im bin Rosli

 

“Nothing I do is ever enough. I submitted my assignments when you told me to, when I made an appointment at 12 noon, you cancelled saying you had a meeting and this and that. Everytime I’m in class all you do is make me feel stupid. What is your problem? Why are you only treating me this way when you’re fine with everyone else?”

 

Have you ever experienced this kind of situation with your lecturers and professors?

 

Relax. Calm down. Rest your body for a while, take a deep breath and do a little self-reflection.

 

Conflict is inevitable in our life. Not only with lecturers or teachers, conflict can also occur with family members, friends or even significant others. 

 

To share my experience, back when I was on campus, I had to face a certain lecturer that had an annoying personality at first. Every time he entered our class he would say, “I’m always bored whenever I enter this class. This class always changes my mood from positive to negative.” As if that weren't enough, he would always say how students from religious schools are passive, and are unable to think creatively. Allahu Akbar. Those were his words every semester. Whenever students crossed paths with this lecturer, they would always turn the other direction and ignore him. In class, students would feel anxious and can’t wait for the end of class because they couldn't stand the hurtful words uttered by the lecturer. 

 

One morning, our class got transferred to the university’s library. With feelings of rage and anger, we walked to the library and lined up at the library’s entrance. With a loud voice, he demanded us to hurry up and said we’re too slow, while everyone in the library witnessed the scene. Without me meaning to, my eyes fell upon him to see what he would do next in such a situation.

 

Suddenly, I saw him being greeted by a librarian and he greeted the librarian back with a friendly attitude. The librarian also looked very confident while communicating with him. The exchange intrigued me so I approached the librarian. As if knowing that I was going to ask something, the librarian said to me, “Brother, just follow along. Don’t fight it. It will be tame soon. Once tame, you will know better. Once you know better, you will understand. Once you understand, you will love. Once you love, then you can strengthen and cultivate a bond.”

 

The librarian’s words struck a chord in my heart and I tried my hardest to do it step by step. At first, I felt petrified to approach him, but I kept on forcing myself to approach him and named the process as “Attracting Lecturer’s Heart Project”. I started with doing activities that would put the spotlight on me until my name was being called frequently. Next, I would do what he would like his students to do. And lastly, I got to know him better, know his background and the issues that were on his mind, until we became friends and met up often to talk.

 

It turns out that there’s a reason for why he was so tense and uncomfortable with us. His bad experience with past “seniors” were what made him generalise his students which caught onto us. Incidentally, a few of us acted similarly to the “seniors” that he encountered. Turns out, after I got to know him better, and I got to understand him, I learned a lot and got a lot of knowledge from him.

 

Based on my past experience, I can share a few tips on how to handle conflict between students and lecturers. May this benefit everyone. 

 

BEE tips

 

1. Look from a positive perspective

 

Just like a bee, it will start it’s day with finding a flower to extract honey from. Even though the tree has thorns, the bee would still find a positive side of the flower to take. That is how as a student, you should see your teacher from a positive perspective. No matter how bad their treatments are, that is only skin deep and they are still our teachers that will give us benefits and knowledge. So find a positive side, then you can see the good that you can share.

 

2. Approach

Just like a bee, not only looking from afar, a bee would even make a decision and act to approach the flower. Even if the smell might be unpleasant, even if the stem is full of thorns, even if the flower is tall and hidden, the bee would still approach it. That is how as a student, getting to know your teacher is good manners and courtesy. The meeting point will produce a positive interaction. And surely the relationship will keep on being close. It is also important for students to know the work, leadership, management, communication styles and the lecturer’s personality to ease the interaction for both sides. This is to avoid misunderstanding and miscommunication.

3. Sharing positive emotions

Just like a bee at the moment of approaching the flower, it approaches in a way that is full of wisdom. It knows that it wants to benefit from the flower, so it focuses it’s full attention on the flower and touches it in a respectful way. That is how as a student, when you’re with your lecturer, express emotions that are sincere and positive. Indeed, expressing a positive emotion will be positively received and felt and it will give a good response.

4. Spread a positive aura

Just like a bee, the best benefit that was taken from itself, the bee will spread an even better benefit until it becomes medicine or cure to other living things. That is how as a student, after an interaction is formed and a bond is created, it becomes the student's responsibility to spread a positive aura and story regarding the lecturer, not adding on to the stories that diminish the teacher’s image. With this, all misunderstandings will change and all the negative impressions will turn positive.

5. Grow a positive spirit

Just like a bee, the pollen that it spreads will grow new lives. The seeds of life that had just blossomed will raise hope. That is how as a student, spreading positive aura and spirit will help lift a gloomy day. Lecturers also need energy and positive vibes from students for them to keep on being energetic and stay positive. With support and relentless strength from students, their boring lives are sure to return back to being happy and energetic until they can conjure creative ideas and countless solutions. 

“Teachers are like lanterns illuminating the dark night. When the lanterns are lit, then life will shine with a thousand hopes. When it’s extinguished, then life will become dark with no directions. Respect your teachers”

Quote by Buku 170 Kata-kata Mendorong menjadi Pelajar Hebat; Rahsia Tindakan Untuk Sihat Emosi Buat Pelajar.

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Let see, Mr. Za'im's sharing about encouraging positive relationship between teacher-student. 

Date of Input: 11/06/2021 | Updated: 23/08/2021 | anis_akmil