Author: Kamariah binti Derasol K.B,P.A

Humans are born with the nature to be caliphs on this earth by God Almighty. In carrying out the role of caliph on earth, there are those who seek sustenance through work. With that job, the family's livelihood can be fulfilled, the desires of the self and the family can be fulfilled.

However, every job has its challenges. And challenges can come in different forms - different according to the individual, the situation and the field of work. For those who are married, there are challenges in terms of time conflicts and roles as workers and pillars in the family.

In order to deal with this challenge, the point of balance between career and family needs to be found so that the household remains harmonious and work remains productive. Here are some guidelines shared, hopefully useful to practice.

1. Write down the problem that bothers you.
There are individuals who feel nervous and worried, but don't know the cause that causes them to worry. No less easily angry and depressed, as if not understood. Sit alone for a while, regulate your breathing until you are calm and write down the answers to these questions. Answer honestly, hopefully it will provide insight and clarity to the haze of feelings that are troubling the mind.
This writing exercise will be more beneficial when you share with the counselor the feelings that arise when writing statements and answering the questions given.
This exercise helps some to identify feelings of guilt, disappointment, emotional fatigue that may have been unexpressed in taking care of other people's feelings. Or don't care about your own feelings, life is just a routine that continues without stopping.

2. Improve communication with family members
Once the problem is written down and identified, choose things that can be discussed with family members. Is the solution to need more time? Alone time? Family member help? Source of income? Distribution of duties?
There are times when we are too immersed in our daily affairs, we end up getting stuck in the game of 'assumptions'. Even more dangerous, assuming spouses and family members understand without them knowing what they should know and do.
In this regard, communication can help bridge the gap in understanding and reduce assumptions and expectations. Expectations without communication are like expecting a car to move without specifying a destination.
By improving communication as well, more problem-solving space can be explored together. In this case, melt the ego to ask and admit your shortcomings. A good partner will be appreciative and willing to help when trusted to give an opinion.

3. Set limits
Whether it's work or family, both require sacrifice. However, it is necessary to put a limit so that both can be balanced without taking away any rights. For example, avoid doing family things while working, take time off and manage it well. On the other hand, when with the family, avoid taking time with the children by doing office tasks. Remember that, the purpose of our work is to make the family happy. And it's not the family that makes our work happy. Whatever challenges there are, hold on to the purpose of life as a servant of God who seeks His pleasure in what is done.

Date of Input: 31/07/2023 | Updated: 31/07/2023 | ayna