Written by: Haniff Abdullah Hashim, Psychology Officer, Counselling Division UPM

 

Rejection is an art of war. Day by day as humans grow older and wiser, we are faced with the need to make a decision. We may face rejection due to that decision and whether we like it or not, we have to face the rejection head on. The interesting thing about rejection is it’s as if we are playing an online video game. When we complete a level, the next level will become harder and harder to play. Therefore, the higher and greater the goal, the greater chance that a rejection will occur. 

 

When we examine someone’s success, ask them the amount of rejection they had to face to get to where they are. The rejection could come in many forms such as rejection from family, rejection from work, criticisms, mockery or any act that is aimed to bring people down. It can’t be denied that rejection is harsh and bitter, but what is more important is resilience and how someone rises after facing a rejection.

 

Rejection is a practice

 

Accepting rejection is a good emotional exercise. When a rejection occurs, the mind will assess whether the event is positive or negative. At this time, the individual must choose which thought to translate into emotions. The formula is simple: if your thoughts are negative, then your emotions are bound to be negative as well, but if you choose to think rationally, then your emotions will be more positive. In the end, thoughts and emotions will integrate to produce behaviour. Rational thinking will help someone in finding a creative way to overcome rejection in the future, while irrational thinking will only harbour feelings of resignation and fear of trying. 

 

Rejection trains the mind to be more creative. It could be compared to the muscle-building machines at the gymnasium. At the gym, every machine has different functions, while every rejection produces resilient and durable thoughts in different aspects. Thus, when you are faced with rejection, overcome it as if you are training yourself at the gymnasium. However, you have to be careful to not face a big rejection before being ready, instead, try to face rejection step by step. Trying a difficult machine at the gymnasium without proper training will injure your muscles, while facing a big rejection without preparation can injure your emotions. Try to train yourself on facing rejection step by step and gradually. 

 

Rejection is an art of thinking

 

Sometimes, rejection arrives in an unexpected manner. Take rejection at job interviews for example, we may have made early preparations, arranged all the documents and are confident that we will get the job, but still failed to score the position. To add salt to the wound, the individual that got selected has fewer qualifications than we do. It can be said that rejection is subjective and needs subjective thoughts to overcome it. Therefore, when rejection occurs, an individual must find a creative way to accept the situation, such as trying to find a new job, changing specialisation, seeking a job overseas or improve existing skills. The art of thinking is it does not only flow in one direction. 

 

The art of thinking is like drawing life on one’s own canvas. Blaming the environment and everyone else is as if trying to draw on someone else’s canvas. The action will not only fail, it will also bring obstacles and criticisms which will only bring harm to yourself in the end. Try to control the things you can, such as yourself because the environment and other people are things out of your control. You will never be able to control everyone according to your will and wishes. Try to decorate the canvas of your life with vibrant colours after accepting a harsh rejection. 

 

Rejection is not the end, it’s an amplifier

 

Time and time again, history has proven that people who are brave can rule the world. For instance, being brave in the face of rejection. The following are a few rejection tales that brought a huge impact on the individual and the world. 

 

Islam spread by rejection

 

Prophet Muhammad SAW was ascended to propehthood when he was 40 years old. After 13 years of preaching Islamic teachings and being rejected by the people of Mecca, Prophet Muhammad SAW migrated to Madinah to build a community and conjure a strategy. The question is, if the Prophet had given up and accepted the rejection from the Mecca’s idolaters, would it have been possible for Islam to grow and spread the way it has today?

 

Thus, having a strategy to face rejection is important. In order to achieve a goal, guidelines, limitations, strengths, patience and other positive values must be integrated and applied. 

 

Jack Ma, billionaire and founder of Ali Baba

 

Try imagining 24 people applying for a job and 23 of them got accepted except for one person, and that person is you. How would you feel if not terrible? That is what Jack Ma had to face when he applied for a job at the KFC company. However, despite the rejection, Jack Ma came up with another strategy which led to the establishment of the Ali Baba empire. If Jack Ma was accepted for the job at the KFC company, the Ali Baba empire would not have existed today. 

 

JK Rowling and the tale of Harry Potter

 

Harry Potter is a worldwide phenomenon. However, if JK Rowling had given up on her writing and didn't believe in her capabilities, then we would not have gotten the same Harry Potter books and films that we know today. The Harry Potter manuscript was rejected 12 times by publishers, however, a rejection does not necessarily mean it’s bad, only that people have different subjective evaluation and interpretation. Now, JK Rowling reaps hundreds and thousands of dollars from her writing. 

 

Are we ready?

 

After reading this article, are you ready to be rejected and face rejection? Rejection is an exercise to strengthen your thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Producing creative thoughts and behaviour can be supported by having stable emotions. Rejection will always defeat emotions, therefore, to strengthen the emotion, one must think rationally. 

 

So don’t wait around and prepare yourselves. Face the realities of the world. Be ready to face rejection. Say no to works that are perfunctory and a waste of time, and face challenges without fear of being rejected. 

 

Date of Input: 10/12/2020 | Updated: 23/08/2021 | anis_akmil