By : Mdm. Wan Azurani Wan Ahmad

 

To the readers, I bring you a story. May this story be a lesson and exemplary in going through life, whether as children, parents, friends or whoever we are.

 

 

This story happened around 20 years ago. Adila (not real name) lost a father when her parents divorced. She was left with her mother. Lost the love of a father. The family is no longer perfect. When she was still a child, Adila also lost her beloved mother to an illness. She was then taken in by her grandfather and her grandmother to grow up with her extended family alongside her aunt and uncle.

 

 

After so long without a mother and a father, Adila could no longer remember the love of parents, unlike her friends. Moreover, her dad never showed. Although, she could still remember his face. Adila had to face every bitter end alone, but she remained brave and strong. Adila knew that she had to face countless challenges as a teenager. Many problems came her way. Her emotions were all over the place. Thankfully, Allah gave her strength, good friends and she had endless support from her family. She didn’t get caught up in negative things. When Adila was in her 20s, her father reappeared. How would you feel if this happened to you? Will the decade-long silence and buried feelings cause an eternal conflict between a father and a daughter? Alhamdulillah, Adila calmly accepted her father. Maybe Dad had finally become aware of his mistakes. Maybe this is the best for her. Despite the regret in Adila's heart, she remained calm and composed. Adila calmly greeted her father’s return into her life. She accepted the realities of her life. If Adila doesn't give up, upholds her ego, finds fault and flaws, it would only cause the continuation of the conflict between father and daughter.

 

 

Life is temporary. Conflict occurs when there are differences of opinions between two parties. Conflict can occur directly or may even lead to buried feelings. If differences of opinions are not managed well, the conflicts that occur can sometimes damage relationships. It could also spread to others. As a child, parent, or anyone, sometimes, you must give in to ease conflict. Giving up does not necessarily mean that you’re losing. Healthy communication and interaction styles can reduce the possibility of a conflict occurring. On the other hand, ego and arrogance could only further fuel conflict.

 

 

Teenagers often experience conflicts with parents. Among the main factors are the age of adolescence itself. During adolescence, a person will experience various changes whether physical, emotional or social. It will cause emotional imbalance in adolescents, which can lead to many problems. Among them are confusion regarding one's role and responsibilities, often feeling that they are misunderstood, feeling that they are being treated unfairly, loneliness, difficulty in understanding emotions, difficulty in making decisions, difficulties in finding one’s identity and many others. Adolescents and parents often have conflict in terms of values, attitudes and behaviors. Perhaps the generation gap between the two sides influences different perceptions, thoughts and values. For example, parents will give various restrictions and advice, all for the sake of caring for the child, but at the same time the child perceives the parents as restricting, not understanding their true wishes.

 

 

Sometimes the parents are right. While sometimes, a child's views and opinions are right. Therefore, in a familial institution, it is necessary to ‘give and take’. Calm your emotions. Create an environment of love and care. In any situation, whether it be finances, education, relationships and others, celebrate the views and opinions of all members of the family.

 

 

It's certain that mothers and fathers are role models to children. Parents are the children’s first example. The best teachers are parents. Dear parents, be the best example, because a good mold produces beautiful sculptures.

Quoted by book "170 Kata-kata Mendorong Menjadi Pelajar Hebat." 

Lets follow these tips to become a Happy Family. 

Date of Input: 21/01/2021 | Updated: 24/08/2021 | anis_akmil