Author: Mr. Mohd Redzuan Zamberi K.B,P.A

Why when in love with another, after marrying another? This question makes the couple nervous and in crisis over this significant difference. For those who are not married, the feeling of worry plays in the mind. Anyway, I will explain why and how to get back to harmony. There is no problem that cannot be solved. For those who are not married can learn from this story. The majority of readers will agree with this, especially the HAWA people.

Men before marriage are really 'caring', romantic, verse 'power', loving and Mr. Perfect 10. But when they get married they are not like that, why? Women before marriage are very gentle, polite, obedient and compliant and beautiful, with a slender body just like a model. But when you get married, you become rude, loud, moody, like to direct, not as beautiful as before, your body has run away from "alignment" with the reason that you have given birth to a child.

Why do all the above questions happen? Why can these two genders change? Is it true and is there a specific reason why men change? In terms of romance, the "chia-chia" sentence is great, but when you get married, it's hard to say "I love u". I used to love to make surprises, when I got married, it was hard to give a Cadbury chocolate gift.

The answer is that a man during lovemaking energy and his focus is to woo a woman to marry him. These men mostly mature later than women. The majority of men mature after the age of 40, i.e. reach full maturity. Some are early because of life experience. But mostly women in their 20s are more mature and wise than men.

Wise and mature have different meanings. There are men who are smart, bookish, like to think but have no real life experience yet. Maturity is the ability to think and act beyond the partner's will. It is called emotional and behavioral maturity. For example, a man thinks first about the appropriate sentence to express to his partner before speaking so that the resulting communication is always harmonious. However, if there is a mistake while speaking, the man quickly apologizes before the woman sulks and feels heartbroken. This action is called maturity, because it is not necessary to be asked by the partner, the individual to act first to solve the crisis or avoid the crisis.
Although women can think wisely beyond men's minds in matters of relationships, but women often fail to control their emotions such as jealousy, anger, sensitivity to what they think, unlike what is highlighted in a relationship.

Men are wise to plan in the short term. Their goal is to seduce and then marry. Therefore, they will use their full energy and the power of their tongues to speak. When the man's desire is achieved, he does not plan in the long term about the strategy if the wife sulks. All this is not in their plans.

Women will wonder where the love poet went? After marriage, men focus their energy not on their tongue anymore. For a man, when he successfully marries the queen of his heart, he is no longer a love poet but a Woman Warrior. They think about fate, sustenance, money, possessions to give happiness to his wife.
In psychology, there is Real Self (real self) and Ideal Self (desired self). It is impossible after he stayed and was comfortable with himself for 25 years, after getting married when he was 25 years old, is it easy for the wife to form a new personality that matches her.

Why are men different before marriage than after marriage? The answer is that while in love, the man changes his personality to his Ideal Self. A man creates a new personality (Ideal Self) just to charm the heart of his Dara Pujaan. While making love, men always ask the girl what she likes, her favorite food and drink, hobbies, colors and many more to attract the woman of her dreams. Meaning that is not his real self. A real man has an ego and it is not easy to shape himself overnight.

When a man gets married, he becomes himself (Real Self) where the wife cannot arbitrarily shape herself, she needs to respect herself as a man and the head of the family. Women change after marriage due to their emotions. although he is much more mature, much wiser, but he will lose to his emotions. That is the weakness of Eve. Men don't have to be smart to win arguments with women. There is no need to say words or have a lot of facts to subjugate women's words.

So men need to be mature in winning women's hearts. Be a love poet at the same time a woman fighter. Listen a lot and sometimes use the power of arjuna to talk about love with your beautiful virgin, make her melt again. Take care of each other's roles. Wise and mature. Do not drown in prolonged emotional games. It is very disadvantageous. sacrifice for the common good.

Date of Input: 28/06/2023 | Updated: 29/06/2023 | ayna