By : Mr. Mohd Redzuan bin Zamberi K.B.; P.A.

What is meant by a tantrum?
A tantrum is an expression of a child's dissatisfaction or the pressure they are facing until they can no longer bear it. It is an expression of childish anger and sometimes mixed with fear. It is more common among children aged 2-4 years. Some children will have frequent tantrums and half of them only occasionally.

What are the signs and symptoms of a tantrum?
Children who have tantrums, show behavior such as crying, screaming, kicking, stomping, holding their breath, and throwing things.

What causes a tantrum?
Tantrums usually occur when the child feels tired, hungry or uncomfortable. Sometimes children throw tantrums because they don't get what they want and to get attention.

How can tantrums be dealt with?
These are tips that can help parents who are worried about dealing with tantrums. There are parents who let their tantrum-throwing children constantly cry and throw tantrums. There are also in some cases parents who are tired, act out of control towards their children such as yelling, scolding or hitting. This act of parents by punishing their little one without them understanding whether this punishment shapes their morals or they can be emotionally affected and traumatized.
According to the research and research results of Dr. Lise Eliot, Professor at the Department of Neuroscience, Chicago Medical School, children at the age of 2-3 are in the golden age. Screaming and yelling from parents can kill developing brain cells. Each of their children has 10 trillion brain cells that grow during their growth. Know that every scolding or swearing by parents to their children, will kill more than a million of their brain cells. A single pinch or blow can kill more than 10 million brain cells of a child at that time. Instead 1 compliment or hug will build the intelligence of more than 10 trillion brain cells at that time.
The first tip is to avoid children being in a situation that leads to tantrums. For example, in a situation where a child wants to have an object that does not belong to him, or fights to get an object that is limited in number or a situation in a supermarket or at someone else's house when coming to visit. Children tend to get or own objects they like in any case. If they don't succeed in getting what they want, they will act like crying, shouting, fighting or protesting by hiding to persuade or get attention. Children's tantrums are sometimes passive or aggressive depending on the situation and their emotions at the time.
Actions that parents can take in controlling this situation is to distract and replace with other objects that are easier and more meaningful. For example, a child wants to have his favorite doll in the supermarket or even if the doll belongs to his brother or cousin, then the parents try to keep the object away by hiding the doll from the child's view. Parents can also place the desired object in a high place so that children cannot reach it. It is better that the object is also out of reach of the parent, by showing the action to the child that the object is too high and should not be taken.
At the same time parents try to give other objects or toys to try to divert the child's attention. Parents need to give meaning to the replaced object by stating that this object is more beautiful and more powerful. This is the act of giving meaning to the object so that the child feels lucky from the loss of not being able to have the original object.
The second tip that parents can by giving meaning to children's minds like parents scolding them is not because of hatred but because they love them very much with logical reasons that can be reached by their thinking, for example the object is dangerous and boelh will hurt it if it continues to play for a long period of time old. Parents can tell dramatic stories such as other children who have been injured by playing with the object too much. Knowledge or teaching that parents try to apply to their young children in this tip so that children are not too sensitive when scolded by their parents in educating them. They need to remember that their parents love them and do not want to buy or grant their every request at all times. In other words, the information that is trying to be conveyed to children that the negative treatment they receive (for example allowing themselves to be scolded by their parents) is better than not receiving treatment. Children need to be taught to be patient to get what they want by showing good morals. They will be rewarded at the right time after they have done a lot of good to their parents. In addition to the guided patience element, the value of doing as much good as possible to get a meaningful gift from their parents. When children often get what they want without effort, then when they reach adulthood, they will think that everything can be had without being hindered.
The third tip is to give appreciation when the child is having a tantrum. Children who have tantrums will usually be put aside or even scolded or punished by letting them act with the thought that the action will stop when they are tired or calmed down. For example, a mother praises her child who is having a tantrum and cannot participate in school supervision because of the expensive visitation fee and worries that your little child will be naughty and difficult to control the teacher if he is outside of school.

"Mom likes Hanna not to scream and cry loudly. Hanna is getting bigger and smarter., if this continues, Mom will take Hanna to the National Science Center with her father, brother and sister during the school holidays. It's more fun than a group with friends without mom and dad. We'll go together later..."

The fourth tip is to keep calm. Children's tantrums will worsen if we ourselves are not calm. many situations. Children's tantrums are not excessive, but parents who are stressed, start scolding and scolding the little child excessively. So parents also need to be calm, patient and act according to the situation so that children are educated and not punished. Parents' actions need to be accompanied by teaching, not punishment that brings trauma to children, until they continue to be stubborn, protest and hold grudges.

Fifth Tip, guidance and education must be firm and consistent. It is not wrong for parents to insist on not fulfilling what their children wish for. For example,
"Papa will buy Mia a mobile phone after she graduates from SPM and succeeds in getting a good result later. For now, cell phones are not an essential requirement in school. The purpose of papa buying a mobile phone, because at that time, Mia was a teenager and good at taking care of things in addition to the appreciation for the success she experienced"

The last tip is time out. If the tantrum gets worse, time out (rest time) can be done in children over 3 years old. In general, children tend to find a safe zone for themselves to calm down when they are disappointed that they did not get what they hoped for. For example, when a parent takes away a doll he likes because of a fight with his sister, the child will hide in his favorite place, a sign of protest. So parents do not continue to persuade, give a quiet period of 5 to 10 minutes, then parents call the child, or persuade them after the end of the break. a certain amount of time: usually 1 minute for each year of his age. Do so until he can calm down. Tell him why he needs to do that. When the child is finished giving a break, don't be angry with him anymore, give him praise because he can calm himself down and control himself.

Date of Input: 30/06/2024 | Updated: 30/06/2024 | ayna